WHAT A WEEK!

All I ask for is 1- 2 hrs a day exercise.  Now you think that would be easy.  It is SOOO not i can tell you when you have a sick child and a partner who has been told he is not allowed to pick her up at all. 

I have to say that this week has been hard, tiring and manic and to throw everything into the mix I had a stall at  a baby sale to which i had to take my baby as I have no one to look after her.

So Now I have had my whinge about how hard it was here comes the positives as why sit and whinge when I am here to change my lifestyle.  I'm sure i can catch up on the 30 hrs of missed sleep when i am six foot under in 70 years (  Yes i will live to over 100 now i am getting fit!!!)

POSITIVES

• Managed to not be tempted by the donuts and sausages at the baby market
• Walked each morning with my partner and daughter around the block, by the end of the week we had made it up to a 5km walk)  
• Still have not touched the mars bars and snickers in "Paul's" fridge
• Exercised every day
• Attempted Zumba - "attempted"  i emphasise
• Went to Geelong to sisters and watched her drink a whole bottle of champagne by herself - NOT TEMPTED! YAY
• Did my first spin cycle class and loved it!
• Tracked my calories for the week 

When I Look at the positives, the non sleepless nights and running around after everyones appointments don't really register.

MY OUTLOOK FOR NEXT WEEK. - Keep up the great work!

MY REWARD FOR THE WEEK - I booked my flight and accommodation to Sydney for the Award / Presentation night.  I have organised mum to help Paul look after the kids and I am flying up with a fellow team member who i cannot wait to meet.  We will be there in time for the workout then hitting the awards night.  This is probably the most amazing part of this journey that I am on, is that although I have not met people yet, I feel like i know so many of you personally through talking on facebook pages of Michelle's 12wbt and the 12wbt - Round 3. When I have a tough day I read other posts on their tough days and it puts my life into perspective. 

MAJOR LESSON LEARNT - There were never any sabotagers to my weight loss over the years, I was my worst own enemy and I own up to that I accept responsibility.  Now I will make the changes I NEED TO MAKE in order to become a better healthier, happier person. xo

WEIGH IN DAY

Wow 2kgs!!!  I cannot believe it.  I was so excited I even did a little dance around the room to mark my achievement but then realised the rest of my butt and back fat wobbled so much i had to stop.... or maybe i should have put the HRM on and seen how many calories i burnt! ha ha

I did my first ever spin class today.  it went for 45 minutes and I burnt 400 calories.  I didn't think i was pushing that hard until the lady told me I had achieved the 18 kms required , the same as everyone else and they had been doing the class for months, so that made me very proud of myself.

Had to take partner to the surgeons straight after which is always a 3hr ordeal so instead of sitting my butt in chair i decided to drop him off and walk around the DFO and give the legs a stretch.  I did get hungry at one stage and went to get some money out to buy something at the food court but the ATM was empty.... was that a sign???? LOL  I did buy some lingerie though which was one of my commitments that i would wear this at the end of the 12 weeks. It looked sexy on the coat hanger????  We'll just have to wait and see.

I am finally and slowly i must say moving my partner onto the same food as me.  He had the wrap today and loved it!   Hard tonight though as sis is staying and they are having chicken and chips and i am having cauliflower soup.  But after the scales being nice today I am definitely not going to give in. 

Anyway must go, baby crying out for tea.  Be good everyone!! xo (PS - do 10 push ups after reading this - just to say you can do it!)  uh uh uh - i can see you moving away without doing them - POSITIVE THINKING, POSITIVE WEIGHT LOSS!

Day 1 - Its finally here

DAY 1 - YES!!! The start of my journey.  I was so excited last night i couldn't sleep properly knowing that in 12 weeks i will be the best i have looked in a long time.  I'm Motivated, I'm pumped and I'm raring to go.  Even with Mia waking up for 2 feeds throughout the night it didn't deter me from exercise.

First thing was unpack on line groceries - and what a lovely man he was.  I told him today was day 1 and watch out as every week he comes there will be less of me.  It was his first day and he was nervous so i put some humour into his life for him!

Breakfast was yummy and i even managed to cook up bacon and eggs for my partner and stick to my menu whilst watching him eat it without any thoughts of reaching over and sneaking some bacon.  This proves to me that my mind is set right - I am in the right mind frame to achieve this goal of mine,  I know that i can do this. 

So 451 calories down in 1:21 and I'm still going but I'm enjoying every part of it.  The music on my ipod is fantastic.  I urge others to put Chariot's of fire about the 5th or 6th song when you start getting tired as it pumps you back up - makes you feel motivated and gives you the strength to keep going - I follow it up with Keisha "Take it off" as its a fast beat so i put the cross trainer on level 14 and give the legs a good beating!!

Have fun today everyone and remember smile through the pain as today and for the next 12 weeks it is our time to shine!!!! xo  ( Pic included: We are currently renovating so at the moment I am training in part of the new laundry and theatre! LOL

I ran 1 km without stopping!!!

I just did my 1km run. I was so nervous as I dont run outside as I'm too scared that I will need to pee half way but i took the plunge and just did it! I thought if i sleep on it, i will get myself into that much of a panic by tomorrow morning so i was better to just suck it up and do ...the task. To my astonishment (and my partners LOL) I walked the first 20 metres then ran the rest of the way. Totally amazed myself and now i wonder why on earth I never ran outside before and always ran on treadmills.

I cannot believe how much i am being inspired and motivated by not only Michelle but everyone i have met on these sites. Totally amazed xo

My herb Garden

My miniture herb garden.  As we are renovating i have no where to put a garden in at the moment so this is my little piece of paradise.

HUMILIATING...... but i had to do it

I had to place this photo on here to ensure I go through with this.  I have hidden for far too long and now, well here i am.  Shocking and humiliating but i have done it...

The horror of realistic photos

Wow - was that really me.... Had my body become so big that i could not even recognise myself. Where was that fit person that used to play squad netball, basketball waterpolo and live at the gym. Certainly not in the photos my partner took of me this morning. HORRIFIC, DREADFUL, DEVASTATING AND HUMILIATING..

Obviously a lot of things had changed since then, but as I read through my Get real section I come to the conclusion - that I AM TO BLAME - no one else but me, I constantly have sabotaged myself with emotional eating. I constantly blamed my partner for eating ice cream or chocolate in front of me , but who put it in my mouth, who gave in to temptation.....ME AND ONLY ME TO BLAME.

Do I like the person I am today.....No , not at all. Do I want to like the person i will be in 12 weeks.... i know that i will LOVE that person. i would have the tools behind me.. "GET REAL" and 'BE SMART".

The me at the moment, is crabby, angry, hardly smiles and is constantly thinking of why I am so fat. The positive part.....I have finally reached out for help and want to become that better person, one who lives for her children and partner and loves them unconditionally and smiles all day long that her cheeks are sore by the end of the day. The person that will go out at the drop of a hat because i will have a wardrobe i fit into and not just tracksuits.

It just takes a little bit of determination and guts and with every small footstep I take I am feeling like I am one step closer to achieving my goal.

When i get on that plane in November for my daughters birthday I WILL BE PACKING A BIKINI. xo