Thursday, September 16, 2010
HUMILIATING...... but i had to do it
The horror of realistic photos
Wow - was that really me.... Had my body become so big that i could not even recognise myself. Where was that fit person that used to play squad netball, basketball waterpolo and live at the gym. Certainly not in the photos my partner took of me this morning. HORRIFIC, DREADFUL, DEVASTATING AND HUMILIATING..
Obviously a lot of things had changed since then, but as I read through my Get real section I come to the conclusion - that I AM TO BLAME - no one else but me, I constantly have sabotaged myself with emotional eating. I constantly blamed my partner for eating ice cream or chocolate in front of me , but who put it in my mouth, who gave in to temptation.....ME AND ONLY ME TO BLAME.
Do I like the person I am today.....No , not at all. Do I want to like the person i will be in 12 weeks.... i know that i will LOVE that person. i would have the tools behind me.. "GET REAL" and 'BE SMART".
The me at the moment, is crabby, angry, hardly smiles and is constantly thinking of why I am so fat. The positive part.....I have finally reached out for help and want to become that better person, one who lives for her children and partner and loves them unconditionally and smiles all day long that her cheeks are sore by the end of the day. The person that will go out at the drop of a hat because i will have a wardrobe i fit into and not just tracksuits.
It just takes a little bit of determination and guts and with every small footstep I take I am feeling like I am one step closer to achieving my goal.
When i get on that plane in November for my daughters birthday I WILL BE PACKING A BIKINI. xo
Obviously a lot of things had changed since then, but as I read through my Get real section I come to the conclusion - that I AM TO BLAME - no one else but me, I constantly have sabotaged myself with emotional eating. I constantly blamed my partner for eating ice cream or chocolate in front of me , but who put it in my mouth, who gave in to temptation.....ME AND ONLY ME TO BLAME.
Do I like the person I am today.....No , not at all. Do I want to like the person i will be in 12 weeks.... i know that i will LOVE that person. i would have the tools behind me.. "GET REAL" and 'BE SMART".
The me at the moment, is crabby, angry, hardly smiles and is constantly thinking of why I am so fat. The positive part.....I have finally reached out for help and want to become that better person, one who lives for her children and partner and loves them unconditionally and smiles all day long that her cheeks are sore by the end of the day. The person that will go out at the drop of a hat because i will have a wardrobe i fit into and not just tracksuits.
It just takes a little bit of determination and guts and with every small footstep I take I am feeling like I am one step closer to achieving my goal.
When i get on that plane in November for my daughters birthday I WILL BE PACKING A BIKINI. xo
Friday, September 10, 2010
Exercise with the Family
Just had an amazing thought - Why am i trying to schedule exercise around the kids making excuses. I have just had staircase races with my 6 yeear old. I ran 5 sets and she had to beat me so she ran 10!!! then i had to beat her. Sweating like anything and my daughter feels like she is helping me to achieve my goal of wearing a pretty dress for her Nov 12. Feel Fantastic!!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Herb Garden established for 12 wbt -
Its so nice to walk outside and pick my own herbs now. I have 4 pots and heaps of punnets. Its definately going to put a nice taste to the menu. Although i only planted them 3 weeks ago they are thriving. Tomorrow i think i will make a great salad.
Cmon peeps, jump on board and plant one as well and share are photos!
Cannot wait for renovations to finish so as the real vege garden can be established.
Cmon peeps, jump on board and plant one as well and share are photos!
Cannot wait for renovations to finish so as the real vege garden can be established.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
My Commitment
My commitment is to prove to myself that I can change the emotional eating factor that comes with food. I commit to putting myself first when needed for exercise and giving myself a break every week to sit back and focus on why I am taking this journey.
I commit that not only will I ensure I cook healthy foods for myself but I will also take my family on this journey to ensure that we all come out healthy at the end. I commit that when it gets hard I will go onto my neighbourhood site and get support from fellow team mates and talk through issues.
I commit that even through the hard times I am facing at home with external excuses out of my control I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I commit that at the end of this 12 weeks you WILL see me in my black slinky dress at the party and IT WILL zip up!! I also commit that when Mish says jump I will jump, as that is what will be needed to regain my focus on health and fitness.
My biggest commitment to myself is that I will not succumb to any alcohol in the 12 weeks of WBT. I will ensure no family or friends will lead me astray. I will stay focussed and determined on the end result.
I also commit that my staircase will be used as a fitness tool!For my daughters - I will commit myself to a future of being able to run around and laugh and play on play equipment, play around in the swimming pool. play on the monkey bars and even try the scootering craze out.
I COMMIT MYSELF TO BEING A BETTER MUM WHO IS FULL OF ENERGY! To my partner - I will make the biggest commitment and at the end of this journey I will wear a piece of lingerie that you have picked out for me and I will stand proud. (ok that one I am scared of). xoxox
I commit that not only will I ensure I cook healthy foods for myself but I will also take my family on this journey to ensure that we all come out healthy at the end. I commit that when it gets hard I will go onto my neighbourhood site and get support from fellow team mates and talk through issues.
I commit that even through the hard times I am facing at home with external excuses out of my control I WILL NOT GIVE UP. I commit that at the end of this 12 weeks you WILL see me in my black slinky dress at the party and IT WILL zip up!! I also commit that when Mish says jump I will jump, as that is what will be needed to regain my focus on health and fitness.
My biggest commitment to myself is that I will not succumb to any alcohol in the 12 weeks of WBT. I will ensure no family or friends will lead me astray. I will stay focussed and determined on the end result.
I also commit that my staircase will be used as a fitness tool!For my daughters - I will commit myself to a future of being able to run around and laugh and play on play equipment, play around in the swimming pool. play on the monkey bars and even try the scootering craze out.
I COMMIT MYSELF TO BEING A BETTER MUM WHO IS FULL OF ENERGY! To my partner - I will make the biggest commitment and at the end of this journey I will wear a piece of lingerie that you have picked out for me and I will stand proud. (ok that one I am scared of). xoxox
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Making Friends
How wonderful it has been to meet team members from my area that are coming on this life changing journey with me. I feel like i really know half of them now. Amazing and i cannot wait till we start getting together, well hopefully!!! Not only is this about exercise for me but also about meeting new people who have the same goals as me. to be fit and healthy, especially for us that have children. And YAY to the day that i can wear a special K dress and look hot!!!
Life can change
Well, How life changes in a week. One minute happy as anything, excited about the program and the next in emergency with partner due to work place accident and having to close business etc down. I have to say that this did throw me completely off the rails. prob the best thing i did though was to post a message on the forums and the responses from other 12 wbt'rs was all i needed to say that although this was an external excuse out of my control I could still do this. I just needed time to take everything in... so i did...
To my surprise i only put on 0.5 kilos which i was rapped about as i hadnt had a chance to hop on any equipment and exercise. I think now my partner is home i should be losing more weight as i have to run around for himand the kids now. I told him that when he gets better he owes me a million nappy changes as a 6 mth old teething means many dirty nappies!!
I am so excited as I have just had the chance to sit down and complete the 4 tasks (as i was behind) - I have chosen the gym as although i have the equipment at home, i think with all that has happened with my partner I need that focus of a gym, plus it has a creche for my daughter and the most important part of all of this is that it is ME TIME. Something i will not get now for prob 6 mths so it is important that when i start this program I can commit myself 100%. Anyway, If i feel like using the equipment at home then that is a bonus exercise workout!
Better go xx
To my surprise i only put on 0.5 kilos which i was rapped about as i hadnt had a chance to hop on any equipment and exercise. I think now my partner is home i should be losing more weight as i have to run around for himand the kids now. I told him that when he gets better he owes me a million nappy changes as a 6 mth old teething means many dirty nappies!!
I am so excited as I have just had the chance to sit down and complete the 4 tasks (as i was behind) - I have chosen the gym as although i have the equipment at home, i think with all that has happened with my partner I need that focus of a gym, plus it has a creche for my daughter and the most important part of all of this is that it is ME TIME. Something i will not get now for prob 6 mths so it is important that when i start this program I can commit myself 100%. Anyway, If i feel like using the equipment at home then that is a bonus exercise workout!
Better go xx
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